When the principles of gestalt therapy are brought into a group setting, the potential for transformation increases exponentially. The present-centered approach of gestalt is akin to a relational meditation, which allows for a client’s delusions, misbeliefs, and habits of the personality to be seen with heightened clarity. In an individual session, the awareness continuum is used to support clients in increasing contact with their present moment experience. In a group session, we can invite clients to bring a deeper sense of authenticity, increased awareness, and self-responsibility through sentence-stems.
Group members may feel uncomfortable with vulnerability and authenticity, which is one reason why these sentence stems are so potent. They eliminate the habitual patterns of deflection and invite clients to say what is deeply true for themselves. Because it’s important to creating psychological safety, when I lead groups, I always begin by filling in the sentence stem with my answer. This serves to model my own authentic engagement, as well as dismantle the old paradigm of therapist-as-expert. I also offer a few examples of responses that illustrate a range of vulnerability, so clients know they have their own discernment to guide their choice about what to share (as you’ll see below).
Next, we go around the circle and everyone shares their answer to the sentence stem. I like to make sure there is plenty of silence and space between each share. With silence and breath, we all have the opportunity to stay in contact with ourselves without rushing through the experience.
Here are 10 sentence stems to consider for your next group activity:
- “Being here with you all right now, I notice…” With this sentence stem, each person responds by saying one thing they notice about themselves in the present moment. For example, “Being here with you all right now, I notice I feel a little shaky.” Some participants might start talking about themselves and their meaning making. For example, they might say, “Being here with you all right now I notice I feel shaky, and you all are looking at me and judging me…” This response is welcome because it offers you insight into your participant’s inner world, however, as the facilitator it’s important to model sharing something inarguable with less narrative and meaning-making.
- “One thing I want you to know about me is…” This sentence stem is a great one to use after participants have gotten to know one another for a few weeks, and you feel like they are ready to deepen into the group. I like to let participants know that they can share whatever they feel comfortable with. For example, they can say, “…that I had a banana for breakfast” or they can share something more vulnerable. I find this offering of choice takes the pressure off to find the perfect thing to say. It’s important for the facilitator to choose a medium-vulnerable reveal, where the participants learn something new about you but you don’t go into our deepest and darkest trauma. For example, “One thing I want you to know about me is my imposter syndrome sometimes holds me back in really stepping into my role as a teacher.”
- “One thing I appreciate about myself is my…” This is a wonderful sentence stem to use to support your group in being seen in their goodness. Responses can vary from “…emotional maturity.” to “…spontaneity.” There is no right answer, only the opportunity to be seen in something they really like about themselves. While this sentence stem has some levity, it is also deeply connecting.
- “I want you to see me as_______ so you don’t think I’m_______” This sentence stem illuminates the client’s inner polarity, or top-dog/under-dog dynamic. A polarity is comprised of two seemingly opposing constructs, one being a dominant thought of the mind and the other one living in the shadow. As with all of the sentence stems, I think It’s important that the group facilitator begin by modeling self-awareness, vulnerability, and authenticity. For example, “I want you to see me as put together so you don’t think I’m messy.”
- “I cling to_______, so I don’t have to feel______” This sentence stem also helps clients to identify their inner polarity and bring it into the awareness field. When they all hear one another’s inner conflict, shame begins to be dismantled in a way that is affirming of everyone’s humanity. Again, modeling for the participants by sharing your own inner polarity is extremely helpful. For example, “I cling to perfectionism, so I don’t have to feel incompetent.”
- “Something I resist about myself is…” This sentence stem supports the client in bringing their inner struggle into the awareness field. Because these inner constructs live in the client’s private inner life, holding it in the light of the sun in a safe container can be quite liberating. “Something I resist about myself is my need to control.”
- “Something I’m ready to accept about myself is…” This sentence stem calls on the participant’s self-awareness to see what they disown or reject about themselves and claim it in the group as part of their whole. This sentence stem can feel deeply healing and transformative for those who dwell in self-loathing. “Something I’m ready to accept about myself is my fear of being seen.”
- “What I really want is…” Desire is an interesting aspect of gestalt therapy. We need to know a client’s desire in order to be client-led. However, clients often want things that are outside of their control or influence. You may need to frontload this exercise by explaining that this is a desire they want for their inner world, and then give an example. For example, “What I really want is self-trust.” In order to answer this sentence stem in a contacful way, clients might need your support in deepening into their truest desire. For example, if a participant says, “What I really want is a true partnership,” you might ask them, “And who do you want to be in order to show up for that partnership?”
- “One characteristic that I want to leave out of this space is…” This sentence stem is great for the beginning of a group. It invites clients into self-responsibility and ownership over what they don’t want to bring into the container. Answers may vary from “One thing I want to leave out of this space is self-judgment” to “One thing I want to leave out of this space is my rescuer.”
- “A quality that I want to bring into this space is…” This sentence stem is a wonderful way to support the intention of co-creating the group together. You may need to clarify that you are wanting them to get intentional about the way they show up to the space. When participants recognize that a group is a collaboration, they are more invested in creating a dynamic and transformative container. For example, “A quality that I want to bring into this space is acceptance.”
- “We seem…” This sentence stem is a beautiful way to make the between dimension of the I-Thou explicit from multiple perspectives. For example, “We seem connected” or “We seem apprehensive.” This sentence stem offers participants and facilitators a way to attune to the group field and give a name to the implicit field we co-create.
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